Ten Infrequently Asked Questions

But maybe, if we asked them more often, we’d be in better places.

Here are ten questions to ask yourself.
And once you have some answers, ask other people the same questions, so you can be of genuine help to both audiences.

1

If you want to understand who someone is, ask:
What would make you feel better?

2

If you want to understand what someone’s yearning for, ask:
What is the thing you’re deeply missing?

3

If you want to understand what makes someone proud, ask:
What would make you happy to do more often?

4

If you want to understand someone’s values, ask:
What does it mean for you to be good?

5

If you want to understand how to help the world, ask someone:
What wrong needs set right, right now?  

6

If you want to understand someone’s identity, ask:
Where do you want to belong?

7

If you want to understand someone’s dreams, ask:
How can I help you become the person you want to be?

8

If you want to understand someone’s frustration, ask:
What rule do you need permission to break?

9

If you want to understand someone’s community, ask:
Who matters most to you and what do they need?

10

If you want to understand someone’s inaction, ask:
How can I get out of your way?