10 Rules for Assertive Rest

How to have a Perfectly Lazy Saturday

Don’t work to live.

Save yourself.
Save your sanity.
Take a day off.
And another.
As often as possible.
For the rest of your now drastically improving life.

No means no, you will not come into work.

1
Change no non-plans once made.
Your day off is your day off. Unavailable means unavailable.

Ping is a 4-letter word.

2
Let your phone die.
You will not recharge fully until you do this.

All work and no play makes Jack an exploited American.

3
Nap when the urge to do so tingles you.
Your body knows what you need more than your scheduling software does.

Meditation means not talking, just noticing. You can do this with Netflix, even.

4
Loiter unapologetically.
People watch. Listen to birds. Notice how squirrels don’t care what anybody thinks. Let a mug of hot coffee grow cold in your hand as you daydream.

Why we were all more happy working from home in sweats.

5
Wear no clothes designed for working.
No underwires, steel toes, silk ties, or other unnatural entrapments.

Good mornings are better when you’re not frightened into activity.

6
Do not leave your bed upon waking.
Linger in the softness. Snuggle for a while. Stretch until you’re ready to put your feet on the floor.

Killjoys die alone.

7
Refuse all guilt linked to pleasure.
Enjoy the things you treasure without caring if anybody else thinks they’re trash.

Become ungovernable and elderly: relax.

8
Monetize no moments.
Your lifetime is worth more than you realize.

A body at rest cannot hear any cranky voices.

9
Allow no energy vampires to enter your spaces.
Banish the complainers, manipulators, rage-fountains, bullies and other monsters who don’t even realize their monsters.

If you don’t let the people nap, they will overthrow you.

10
Remember: doing nothing is vital work.
Rest is key to health. Lazy Saturdays are medicine you shouldn’t have to earn.