10 Steps to Becoming Annoyingly Capable

Make your allies proud & your haters butthurt.

Glitch in the human condition: if someone is happy, or trusted, or capable, or successful, somebody will reflexively hate it. Here’s how to make those somebodies (nobodies, to be more precise) absolutely hate how you operate.

STEP 1: Get some expertise. Read an article or something. You’ll instantly become “uppity” and “such a horrible snob.”

STEP 2: Find your people. This makes you much harder to isolate and bully.

STEP 3: Talk about what you want. Don’t assume anybody knows what you’re after until you articulate it.

STEP 4: Leave what you know. There are no awesome gigs to take in The Shire.

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STEP 5: Let the competentence flow through you. It will soothe your doubts while puckering the anuses of your detractors.

STEP 6: Unlearn how to settle. Your time and attention are valauble and expensive. Those who feel freely entitled to them just can’t do basic math.

STEP 7: Avoid all ick. If you don’t want to, don’t.

STEP 8: Do what you want. Even if nobody else cares about it, or makes fun of it, or even understands it.

STEP 9: Embody what you love doing. There’s no drudgery in the perfectly right activity.

STEP 10: Get some more expertise. When you decide get even better than yourself (your mere existence triggering so many insecurities), you beome incandescantly infuriating. Condolences to the hate-weasels infesting your awesome life.