1: READ TRASH
The strange and random book you picked up three years ago contains a seemingly useless idea that will save your career next summer. Your brain still has lots of similar treasures tucked away, and the weird documentary you watch this weekend will helpfully guide out of danger you in a year or two.
2: DOODLE DURING CALLS
The goofy notes you made in the margins of your day planner are the seeds of the stories you will tell your kids so they will go the heck to sleep. They’ll retell for their kids those same stories someday, rendering your mind immortal.
3: IGNORE WEEDS
By not mowing the lawn a few times, you inadvertently created a habitat for rabbits. Now you never want to mow the lawn again because friends don’t destroy each other’s homes. Your saved both you and the rabbits many hours of future home-tending by doing so. And next summer you’ll get wildflowers, too.
4: WALLOW IN YOUR OWN FILTH
By not showering or changing clothes for three days, you saved around 200 gallons of water. Nobody can smell you through your screen, your skin is less dry, and you don’t have to fold a load of wash.
5: SLEEP IN
By hitting the snooze button and remaining warmly blanketed for a little longer, you can save your marriage. Snuggling your person isn’t just lazy: it’s also magical.
6: SKIP TRENDS
You could be keeping up with fashion, but the clothes you have still fit, and if you wait long enough, they’ll become sought-after vintage items. Do this long enough and you’ll be a marvelously attired eccentric with many thousands of saved dollars to spend on other people & things.
7: ACTIVELY DAYDREAM
If you look out of any window long enough, you will feel calm. The calmness will give you the space in your own head to make saner decisions, sparing you much heartache and reversing the compounding of your anxiety.
8: FORGET TO STRIVE
You missed the deadline to apply to that event you didn’t want to attend in the first place, saving you from sending an excuse about why you can’t go and the cost of the ticket. Instead of going to the event, you’ll read some article that will inspire a medium-sized adventure that you actually want to undertake.
9: SNOOZE UPDATES
You didn’t update your operating system, outsmarting the geniuses who built planned obsolescence into the software, and ensuring that your computer will work for another two years instead of a mere six months.
10: BINGE CONTENT
Oh, look, it’s something interesting. And there’s more! And look, now the people who made it and the people discussing it are now your internet friends. And oh, wait, how did those people get to your house and heart? Not all scrolling is doomscrollling. Some of it leads to actual human connection.
Skillful and wholesome. 🙏🕊💙