The Internet has 1 rule:
DO NOT BECOME THE MAIN CHARACTER.
But here are 10 alternate roles that might be fun.
1
The Unseen Instigators
(Who is pitching the stories to the press?)
The main character is always responding to the plot. But who drives the plot, motivates the characters, decides the battles to be fought? The instigator. They actually own the story. Please support your local teachers. They are saving us all.
2
The Invisible Narrators
(Who is moderating the subreddits?)
Who writes history? The people who are left to tell it. Survive and define the document from a position far enough away to be objective. Please support your local journalists. They are warning us all.
3
The Comic Relief
(Who is is the meme-maker, the goblin of jpegs?)
“Hey, look at me! I peed myself! Ha ha. Right? Let’s maybe let’s not get so worked up, you know? Let’s maybe step back from the precipice of violence? Look at my pants! Ha! Yeah? Cool. Right on. Let’s go get tacos. Let’s laugh this off, move on to better things, and never draw those weapons again, yeah?” Please support your local diffusers of insanity.
4
The Heroes of the Epilogue
(Who will inherit the plot?)
The narrator always dies. Who gets the next chapter? Who inherits the mess made by the tragic figures, or the empires of the conquering heroes? Be that person. The future is always theirs. Please support your local not-old people. They are the future of us all.
5
The Readers:
(What evil lurks between the articles, sipping wine and snorting with glee?)
The more stories you absorb, the lower your chances of your own life becoming a tragedy. Take many notes to make better calls. Avoid becoming a lamentable headline or a pathetic laughing stock by reading about other versions of the same. Please support your local librarians. They are guiding us all.
6
The Sermon Villains:
(Who dares to grind against the grains of expectation?)
The “bad” guys are usually just the people who want something different than the lecturers. Listen to those stories enough, and you’ll start considering yourself as less of a follower, and more of a character who can chart their own routes through the stories. Support your local iconoclasts. They are re-shaping us all.
7
The Analog Setting (The Living Environment):
(What are we burning to power all these hot servers?)
If the plot is what the characters do with the setting, then the setting is the most powerful element in the entire tale. The place, the ecosystem, the moment, the era—however you imagine it—if you embody the place, you can define the moment. Support your local environmentalists. They are healing us all.
8
The Shadowy Owners:
(Whose yacht is this discourse powering?)
Who the main character works for, and who makes most of the money the main character generates, is the one who reaps the most rewards and endures the fewest critiques. Too many so-called protagonists are mere pawns. Please undermine your local oligarchs. They are fleecing us all.
9
The Digital Setting (The Platform):
(Where did you hear about it first, and is it the same shape as the hole in our collective brain?)
You decide what stories get airtime. Your brain, inch by inch, is the most expensive real estate on this planet. Black trash from your programming and become the arbiter of meaning. Please support your local grass-touchers.
10
The Reason the Story Never Happened:
(Who kept their mouth shut the longest?)
Any disaster prevented is an opportunity for thousand happy endings. Support your local underminers of war.