10 Parabolas of Moderation

The nuance is the leverage.

It’s graduation season and all the commencement addresses are about BIG DREAMS and HUGE GOALS and INTENSE EFFORT.

But, really? Nah. The real wins come from reading the room you’re in, and chasing the virtues you’ve been told about a bit less than ALL THE TIME.

Be a little unpredictable.
I mean, show up, be reliable—sure—but don’t become so consistent in your work that you can’t recover when your industry dies:

Don’t set too a high bar, or you’ll be depressed by everything and everyone that can’t reach it.
Reality will temper both optimism and pessimism.

Give all possibilities some slack, but not too much.
Furious short fuses hang out on one end of this graph, resentful doormats on the other.

Have some boundaries based on your own comfort.
The space between snapping and tying yourself in knots you don’t want to be in where you find the strongest spines.

Whatever you’re really into, get out of it every now any then.
People who don’t socialize or explore beyond their narrow realms of expertise exude weird vibes. They’re almost as creepy as people who say that their favorite thing to do is “have fun.” SHUDDER.

The cozy bowl of being social but not THAT social is where you want to be.
Up on the ledges: that’s where the people other people void are lurking.—serial killers who “keep to themselves” on the left and car salesmen and cult recruiters on the right.

You need to have a few dreams, but not TOO many or you’ll break your own heart.
Pragmatic people get things done.

Don’t frighten the audience.
If you want people to work with you, play with you, or just make eye contact: just be gentle with your approach.

The devil has enough advocates.
Be skeptical enough to avoid scams but not so cynical that you kill good ideas and opportunities in their cradles.

Care less to avoid heart attacks.
Treat yourself and your work like they matter, but don’t get weird about it.